Understanding the Window of Tolerance can support an increased ability to manage the maladaptive responses to stressful challenges in your life. Learning to build skills to meet and manage the spectrum from overwhelm to bluntness or "checking-out" can be a powerful tool in healing and managing life when it may feel impossible.
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When day after day we deny our authenticity and intuition, it creates incongruence and intrapersonal tension. Honor your intuitive voice and practice willingness to articulate your needs or you may notice pervasive irritability and exhaustion. Trust your inner voice, this is your ever-reliable Authenticity Barometer. Let go of those that engage in emotional, financial, physical, or creative vampirism. You are not required to maintain relationships that do not feel reciprocally invigorating, no matter the history or context. No longer accept those that exploit your vulnerability, demonstrate unreliability, or adopt your specific expressions of creativity and/or visions and present them as their own. These are not your people. Bravely let go, otherwise, you are teaching them that you are accepting of their behavior and support their complicity system. Engage in a respectful [yet relentless] clearing out to make intentional space for those authentic people that demonstrate creative and interpersonal diversity and authentically support and EARN you. You owe no explanation for cultivating your call to self-actualization. T R U S T yourself, your authenticity and interpersonal power are waiting…..it has been there all along.
Metaphorically, I have often described the experiences/traumas/behaviors that we suppress, feel "shame" about or that are too emotionally flooded to process as akin to a buoy: When experiences are immensely painful we often will exert every effort to push the buoy [trauma memories] underwater. We use addiction, spending, poor relationships, negative self-talk, etc. as mean of quieting the emergence of emotional pain. Trust this: The buoy was made to rise and remain malleable and steadfast, moving with ease and skill within the unpredictable currents of the ocean. It trusts its capacity to rise and meet a spectrum of vacillating weather patterns and unrelenting storms. If suppressed, the memories will continue to attempt to "pop up" in resistance to being submerged. They need to be heard and processed---not to reexperience but as a form of personal, compassionate research to learn how these dynamics influence or impede your ability to adapt to your life NOW. We all have an innate ability to heal and resolve these barriers to allow your best self to emerge. Trust the buoy. Trust yourself.